noun (medical): The uncomfortable feeling after one tailgates for a prolonged period of time. Usually followed by common symptoms of headache, nausea, dehydration, short-term memory loss, and AIDs (Alcohol Induced Diarhea). Not unusual to wake up with unexplained bumps, bruises, cuts, etc.
It's the day before the big game, foodies, and I am very excited for all of the drunken redneck tailgaters and fans alike to really show the country what species of special human we can breed here in the south. Lest you've been under a rock since the fall, the wild and wonderful SEC has proven yet again that no one can take blows to the head like a southern man: a southern Clash of the Titans known as the BCS Allstate National Championship Bowl is 24 hours from commencing.
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| Uh, oh... what's that jersey in the background? |
When I was a kid, my family would drag my brother and I to the University of Mississippi's "Grove", were I got to sample pimento cheese for the first time, sneak beers out of the adults' coolers, and watch the bleached-hair coeds topple from atop their platform heel towers and faceplant in the mud.... ahh, tailgating at its finest. It was only as I grew older that I really started to appreciate "the Tailgate" as a talent...nay, an art-form. Sparkling tent chandeliers and fondu fountains were popping up on my radar in Oxford, Mississippi, and the sheer breadth of southern cuisine was astonishing. It was then I realized that a southern tailgate was a southern woman's opportunity to showcase multi-generational recipes and her ability to make a muddied ramshackle tent look like Liberace's kitchen.
Ole Miss isn't the only school to host some great tailgating; I've enjoyed myself in Knoxville, TN, (despite being at the University of Tennessee). Vanderbilt, Alabama, Tulane, Georgia, and the University of Memphis all prove to be noteworthy tailgate spots as well. Why I am partial to southern tailgates? Do whiskey, pimento, and fried chicken mean nothing to you?! C'mon, ya'll! It's southern comfort food at it's finest, and let's face it: one fan-base is going to need some comforting at the end of a game.
But this Monday is all about the football, right? Hell no. If you are hosting any number of visitors to watch the big game tomorrow, heed my advice: be a good host, and treat it like a tailgate. If you live in Memphis, chances are you have friends that support the tide as well as friends that support the tigers, and they all have one very real thing in common: an affinity for southern tailgate food (and booze). Please don't be that dummy that invites people to your BYOB gameday get-togther and have nothing to offer but Pancho's queso and a smile. If you want to be that cheap, then go pawn your flatscreen and cancel your Comcast, because you're embarrassing yourself. No, take it from me (not that ridiculous Taco Bell commercial trying to bamboozle you into buying a box full of Alpo in a cardboard taco shell): prepare a few tailgate-worthy dishes. Need some help? I gotchu, Boo.
FOR THE BAMA FANS
from the Ono Ladies Club cookbook from Gulf Shores, AL
Alabama Camp Stew:
2 lbs cubed pork
2 lbs stew beef
2 lbs boneless chicken thigh
48 oz of ketchup
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| Um, Roll Tide? |
2 lb of potatoes, cubed
juice of 1 lemon
12 oz of chicken broth
24 oz of water
4 cans of corn
1 qt of crushed tomatoes
2 lbs of chopped onion
1/2 c. vinegar
1/4 c. sugar
In a large crockpot, cook meats and broths until tender (about 3 hours on medium heat). Remove all but about 1/4cup of the broth; add all other ingredients. Cook that beeyotch for about 2 more hours, and mash the potatoes towards the end of cooking time.
Something for the bachelor to whip up with those leftover hot dog buns:
Hot Dog Bun Pie:
4 hot dog buns
1/2 c of butter or margarine
1 c. of sugar
2 c. of milk
4 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
Lay the opened buns face-down (insert inappropriate horny bachelor comment here) in a baking dish. Melt the butter and pour slowly over the buns. Combine the sugar, milk, eggs, and vanilla; pour over the buns. Bake at 350 for about 20 mins.
FOR THE TIGER FANS
from a rowdy LSU fan who likes to party
Cajun Corn and Bacon Maque Choux:
6 ears corn, husked and cleaned (or 3 to four cans of whole kernel corn, if you must)
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
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| I assume her father is featured on "Swamp People" |
1 cup green bell pepper, chopped
1 large fresh tomato, chopped
1/4 cup milk
salt to taste
cayenne pepper
1/4 cup chopped green onions
8 strips crisply cooked bacon, crumbled
Place corn kernels in a medium bowl. Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add onion and green pepper, cook until onion is transparent, about 5 to 8 minutes. Combine corn, tomatoes, and milk with the onion mixture. Reduce heat to medium low, and cook 20 minutes longer, stirring frequently to prevent sticking. Season with s9alt and cayenne pepper. Lower heat, cover skillet, and cook 5 to 10 minutes longer. Stir in green onions and bacon. Remove from heat and serve.
Louisiana Hurricane:
8 oz vodka
2 oz grenadine
8 oz gin
8 oz light rum
4 oz Bacardi 151 rum (par. tay.)
8 oz amaretto
8 oz triple sec
grapefruit juice
pineapple juice
Pour all ingredients into a large pitcher (or do it Silky's style and pour into a bucket). Add ice and juices to taste (and let's be responsible people and not make the toddies too clear. 2012... new year, new you, right??)
So now you have a playbook fit for the most knarly game party of 2012 (because no one really gives a shiz about the Superbowl when Alabama and LSU are playing for the title). So pull on those overalls, suit up in your finest camouflage, and get in that kitchen, sucka; it's gametime, and no one likes to spectate on an empty stomach.
-Stephanie
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