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Monday, October 24, 2011

Gastrosexual

GASTROSEXUAL-
A term used to describe a man who cooks, taking the household chore part away from it, and turning it more into a hobby, used to impress friends and prospective partners.


I want to congratulate those of you that pee standing up and consider yourself of the "gastrosexual" persuasion.  You are in the minority.  In fact, if you are a young bachelor and you have more than a case of beer and leftover Taco Bell in your fridge, consider me impressed.
It goes without saying that I love to cook, especially for my friends; I consider it a privilege to be invited to every kitchen I've visited.  However, there is a reoccurring theme lately, and this "issue" is necessitating an entire post: young men's refrigerators. I honestly don't know why many of you even have one.  You knuckle heads are spending a small fortune on eating out every meal and pleading ignorance of this domestic responsibility.  Allow me to simplify this for you: make a list, get in your car, and go to the damn grocery store.  

Say you spend $8 on lunch, and then another $10 on dinner.  That's about $126 a week on food that probably isn't doing your waistline any favors.  Why not spend about $50 a week and have a fridge you can be proud of?  I get it- you don't want to cook. Or you don't know what to buy.  Or your lazy.  Fine, but I can promise you that being "gastrosexual" is, in fact, a pantie-dropper.  And it encourages you to eat better.  And you'll make momma proud.  All good things. 

So here is a starter list for you cutie incompetents:
eggs, milk, bread, butter, salt, pepper, ketchup, mustard, sandwich meat, tortillas, black beans, shredded cheese, bag of salad, dried pasta, pasta sauce, tomatoes, potatoes, carrots, apples, frozen chicken breasts, yogurt, tortilla chips, salsa, cereal....

Easy enough, right?  Duh.  A staple, in my opinion, is a bag of corn tortillas.  They are a healthier alternative to white bread and flour tortillas, and they are super versatile.  For a quick meal, bake your frozen chicken until it is cooked through.  Cook the black beans on your stove top.  Pull out the cheese.. see where I am going with this?  It's not rocket science, but I am here to help.  If you're feeling really adventurous, you can roll the chicken, beans, and cheese in tortillas, put them on a greased cookie sheet or casserole dish, and throw those suckers back into the oven at 350 degrees for about 12-15 minutes for enchiladas.  I suggest getting Mole or Verde sauce to put on top (you can buy jarred Mole and Verde at Kroger in the "International Foods" aisle), or maybe even some cilantro (in the produce aisle).  Now look at you go!

Keep it up, and maybe even cook for a broad.  Enchiladas and a bottle of tempranillo sounds super sexy, right?  Trust me, it is.  Hell, she may even forget about the fact that you are using paper towels because you ran out of toilet paper last week.  Baby steps, Prince Charming. Baby steps.

-Stephanie





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