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Thursday, December 29, 2011

Who's Got The Herb?

Zeus bless her soul, my mother is a crazy person; I mean this with all of the love in my heart, naturally.  For example, when we were younger, my brother and I used to roll up little dingleberry-sized pieces of paper and leave them in an obscure location on a rug and count the seconds in which it took my mother to find it.  She's that mom that cleans like she's been on uppers all morning before the maid arrives.  She's that lady that started the slogan "When in doubt, throw it out".  How is any of this relevant to a food blog? Well calm the eff down, dummy, and keep reading.  You may learn something.

We ARE the authority
The holidays and the New Year are a time for over-indulging in the kitchen.  I make a living (or somewhat of a living) off of directly contributing to that train of thought.  In my kitchen, there are restaurant-grade sized bottles of herbs and extracts that I go through at a fairly fast pace.  In fact, I have perhaps taken for granted that the average kitchen in someone's home does not turn over the amount of cinnamon or lemon extract or allspice that I do.  So, imagine my surprise when, upon arrival to my mother's spice cabinet, all the damn spices were gone.  I mean, the woman went from a full Lazy Susan to a lonely supply of merely lemon pepper and Rendezvous seasoning.  What the damn?! Right before we cook?  I didn't understand.  She then schooled me on something that she heard on Dr. Ott or Oprah or Today or some other garbage that menopausal housewives watch: spices have expiration dates and should be thrown out accordingly. 


Now, don't get me wrong, I know that herbs and extracts can loose there potency (or attenuation for all you hardcore foodies) over time; however, I can say with little embarrassment that I have NEVER paid attention to the expiration date on a bottle.  What else have I never done?  I've never thrown away about 300 bucks worth of herbs right before the damn holidays when people need them for seasoning and shiz. Gaaaaaah.  But mumsie had the right idea, just bad execution.  However, I bet there are a handful of you still reeling in the idea of herbs having an expiration date. Or maybe you're just super heady and dry your own garden-grown herbs and want to know their shelf life... Well, here ya go, suckas and hippies (respectively) alike:


-Most dried herbs have a 1 to 3 year shelf life
-Extracts last for roughly 4 years (except vanilla, which keeps its potency indefinitely)
-Ground spices can last from 2 to 3 years
-Whole spices can last from 3 to 4 years
-Those seasoning blends last for a year or two


If you insist on buying a jar of ground herbs and spices every time you try one of your Auntie Mae's recipes and it calls for one, then consider throwing out your expired jars every January.  Sound like I am being a hypocrite? Well, I'm not finished, dummy.  Before you throw out all of the unwanteds, make a list and hit the store first.  That's right, replace it before you ditch it.  Why? Well, again expired here doesn't mean harmful to your health, gross tasting, or dead.  It means less potent.  So if your, oh, I dunno, MY MOTHER, and you throw out all of your coriander before your dear daughter is trying to whip up a masterpiece that calls for it, daughter becomes shiz outa luck and you look as silly as Palin's publicist.  So, either replace them as they expire (because if you are cooking often you will probably need it again), or have a list, cross-reference it with your recipe in question, and then out with the old and in with the new. 


Another helpful suggestion?  DON'T BUY DRIED HERBS.  Seriously.  They are not as good as the real thing.  I suggest buying a really small grinder (like the Mr. Coffee coffee grinders at Target) and grinding fresh herbs per recipe.  And if you're no horticulturalist and want to still have that fresh taste, then fear not: Kroger and Fresh Market and such usually sell most herbs in the produce section.  Now this may seem costly, but let's look at this logistically: you can spend roughly $4 on a jar you will use a quarter of before you throw it out, or you can spend $3-$4 on fresh stuff that will taste better, won't get wasted, and won't clutter your cabinets. duh.



Fresh herbs can expire quickly, but you can do some things to help preserve them: 
-Wash them
-Shake them as dry as possible
-Wrap each bunch in a couple sheets of paper towels, then wrap again in plastic wrap
-Refrigerate or keep in a cool place




So, now is the time to start anew and fresh, and let's kick off a new year by saving time, space, and money buy not being such a dufus about herbs and spices.  Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

-Stephanie