Eating Simply ain't for Suckas

There was a chef (his name, unfortunately, escapes my steel-trap memory) that did volunteer work for the Boys & Girls Club of Greater Memphis.  He taught the kids useful culinary thangs to encourage cooking as a trade, but what struck me the most when I toured the facility years ago is what he had written in huge letters across the whiteboard: "Eat to live; don't live to eat".  I found it interesting that, as a pro food-slanger, he would feel that way.  Well, lemme learn you somethin': I totally smell what he's steppin' in now.


I get asked the question "Why aren't you super fat?" often.  My response? I. Eat. Simply.  Yes, I enjoy whipping up a great Bearnaise sauce or nibbling on one of my red velvet cupcakes, but I tend to lean towards the simple side of gastro-tendency.

Ken Lumpkin: Foodie Ninja

My bud Ken Lumpkin, sushi ninja and sous chef at Acre Restaurant in Memphis, eats very simply.  As owner of Umai sushi (you can find his rolls at, you guessed it, Miss Cordelia's) and a general culinary badass, he is accustomed to being surrounded by very creative, complex dishes and recipes.  However, I see him nearly daily munching on a simple bowl of rice with veggies.  He also rides his bike to work.  So as someone who has been in the biz for some 26 odd years, he has figured out the keepin' it simple is what keeps him gangster (although he admits to "going through phases of eating an occasional chili dog").


So, just like the cheffie from Boys & Girls Club, these old hats know the importance of feeding yourself with real fuel.  Now I'm not debasing everything I've previously written and saying to dread your hair, throw out the recipe book, eat raw foods, and learn the mandolin.  Dummy.  No, just keep the crap in moderation.  So, for every time you eat a super saucy, really complex meal, try eating a simple meal.  It doesn't have to be rabbit food; I'm a big fan of black beans and rice.

Eating simply makes you feel better and look better.  And don't you wanna get some? duh.

BOOYA

As of late, there is one reoccurring momma-phrase that I find apropos to most of my contemporaries' lifestyles: "If she doesn't take care of herself, she can't take care of you".

So, basically, momma doesn't want her little boy to be with an unkempt, messy, fat and lazy floozy.   Way to go, momma.  No, I'm serious.  Momma ain't that backwards.  Women AND men alike should take care of themselves before they even consider taking "care" of anyone else or anything else, for that matter.  This means eat to live, don't live to eat, brosef. 

According to the Huffington Post, there are 5 easy ways to eat simply and clean.  If you're a dipwad and can't figure out how to dump the garbage-hoovering ya'self,  here's the link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/livestrongcom/clean-eating-5-simple-ste_b_632545.html   


My advise? Keep it ALL in moderation.  Including the veg eating.  There are some great simple recipes out there.  Want one? I bet you do, you little minx.  


SIMPLE HALIBUT:
1 lb of halibut (2 fillets)
1 lemon
fresh dill
olive oil for brushing
sea salt


Preset your oven to broil.  Rinse your fish, pat it dry. Place the suckers in a pan lightly greased with olive oil.  Squeeze lemons over the fish, then season with salt, and then finish with a generous amount of dill on each fillet.  Depending on the thickness, it could take 15-20 minutes (and INSERT INAPPROPRIATE COMMENT HERE).


Easy, no?  And you're looking at only about 270 calories.  I recommend stove cooking some fresh green beans in light olive oil and a dash of salt.  Leave em crunchy, and keep the jiggle out yo step.


-Stephanie