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Sunday, November 27, 2011

Thank God It's Over

We all have much to be thankful for; I, for one, am thankful that I no longer have to bake like a maniac for last minute orders, get force-fed Uncle Pat's "special casserole" of mayonnaise and bacon, or embarrass myself at one more holiday karaoke booze fest.


Crabs for dinner, anyone?
If you dwell on the Holiday Fear like I do, the last thing you want to do is be reminded of Black Friday and  blackout Saturday nights.  So while my wallet looks dangerously thin after the break, the idea of eating leftovers sounds as appealing to me as listening to a Bieber Christmas album: they both, in fact, incite nausea.  My suggestion (because you know I'm full of 'em): cheap. sandwich. shops.  Nothing breaks the dressing and pie mold like a great sandwich from a hole-in-the-wall shop.  They're fast, cheap, and easy...the Paris Hilton of a meal, if you will.


I bet you're wondering which places I recommend, and if you're not, then suck it.  Quit reading.  Go figure it out yourself because I'm tired of trying to help you.  In the spirit of brevity and holiday hangover, Ima get right to it:


DOWNTOWN
Shwarma, ya'll
Frank's South Main Market and Deli:  Located on 327 South Main, this Middle Eastern- themed market features a hard-hitting shwarma, which is kinda like a gyro but way more awesome.  They make a mean hummus and falafel, too.  I have also heard great things about their chicken salad.  My personal fav is their portobella and goat cheese sandwich.  WARNING: This place looks like a rat-hole.  But as an added bonus, they have a rowdy beer selection.  And lottery tickets.  If you're going to be a girl about it, they also deliver.  BOOM.   


MIDTOWN
Kwik Chek Food Store:  This place is ridiculous, but in a way rad way.  Located on 2013 Madison, the Kwik Chek features rowdy sandwich selection with winners like the "Trojan" (chicken patty wrapped in ham and Swiss cheese with lettuce, tomato & honey mustard... no bullsugar) and the "Hey Zeus"(turkey, roast beef, feta cheese, bell pepper, onion, lettuce, tomato, mayo, mustard, lemon herb dressing, spices and oriental habenero sauce).  What's SUPA dope about this place?  They have Bi Bim Bop (white rice with stir fried vegetables and marinated beef, chicken, or tofu topped with spicy Korean sauce and a sunny side up egg): this stuff is the jam.  I found out that a recently closed and greatly missed restaurant called Petra that featured Korean and Greek fusion (weird, I know) shared the same ownership.  So check it out, knucklehead.  


UNIVERSITY OF MEMPHIS AREA
Super Submarine Sandwich Shop (Chinese Sub Shop):  You have heard about this place lest you've been living underneath a rock or are a big-time dipwad.  It's on 614 South Highland, right by that goofy Fun Shop, and it seriously has the best sub bread eva: it's kinda sweet and buttery and melts in your mouth.  My personal favorite is the tuna salad sub.  They also have those dill pickle chips, which is huge, because I don't see those around anymore.  This place is cash only, so don't be that retard that holds up the line only to remember after taking 10 minutes to order that you only have your debit card.  duh.  But this place is truly a staple; I've ordered bulk orders from here and taken it to Tiger Lane tailgates... and that was one helluva way to please a crowd. 


So go on, quit the reheating or cooking or whatever it is that your large backside was doing in the kitchen and just go grab a sandwich.  You'll have something to be thankful for that isn't cheesy and vomit-inducing to announce around the dinner table.


-Stephanie